What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i came on her dog
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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