The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
