New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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