there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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