Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.

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(217): View more from Illinois

just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.

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(512): View more from Texas

I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

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(07): View more from

My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Dude... this pee is not alleged

(774): View more from Massachusetts

YOU SAT ON MY LAP!

(732): View more from New Jersey

Wuddup pee lap

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