No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
