i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
