If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
