Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can I color on your dick again?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
