I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
