Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
