can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
