I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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