I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
