This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
