Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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