My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
