I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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