YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
