The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
