Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
