About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
