Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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