Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
tell me about the fingering
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