her vagine was all disorganized.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
