I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
