well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
