Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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