so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
