So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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