But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I need to align my fucking chakras
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
