It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
