There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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