Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize