I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
