Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize