'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
