I need help removing her.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
