On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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