So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
