I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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