wat bout pragnant strippers??
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize