it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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