so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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