Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
