i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
