You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
