Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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