Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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