The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
