yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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