"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
