He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
