I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
