so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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