my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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