I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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