Having a random hookup so left but love u
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
