Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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