After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
