for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
