i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No subtext here. People are naked.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
