My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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