how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just pee around me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
