I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
